No.30 Arty Weekend Plans Derailed by Urge to Read Instead

On fighting an eternal, internal tug-of-war

Sketchbook spread: abstracted bits of landscape in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

I had grand plans to spend loads of time on art this weekend— more drawings and paintings for my animal-themed card deck, or work on that small collaboration project, or drawings for a tattoo design a friend has commissioned. Naturally, I also have on my list: “write newsletter”, as it’s been over a month since I’ve written one of these.

I did a bit of painting yesterday afternoon, yet so far I’ve spent most of today with my nose in a book.*

Sometimes I really struggle to get going on anything in my studio / on my list. it’s not that I don’t want to— it’s more that I’m overtaken by a quiet but steely rebellion against Structured Time and Too Many Expectations. Its a kind of protest staged in the form of laziness. Not that I think reading is an indulgent pursuit (not in a bad way, certainly)— but, depending on the book, it can easily present as a kind of lolling, pleasure-seeking form of pure relaxation.

And that’s where I’ve found myself much of this sunny winter afternoon.

Sketchbook spread: abstracted bits of landscape in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

And then I have an ongoing, internal tug-of-war: I’ll regret not having used this time to move forward with some project or other; I’m often too drained after work during the week, and winter will be over soon, thus making time for being an art hermit less abundant!

I really hate these mental wars. The problem is that from my perspective, each side has a point.

Yes, I will feel more satisfied with my weekend if I’ve spent some solid hours improving my skills and / or making something. But also: Yes, having unstructured time to just potter around and do as much or as little of anything I please is one of life’s great joys.

Admittedly, it’s a wonderful problem to have. So much so, it’s not even a problem, just a sort of postmodern invention, steeped in notions of endless productivity for the sake of productivity.

Sketchbook spread: Abstract composition in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

Sketchbook spread: abstract geometric comoposition in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

Sketchbook spread: abstract comoposition in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

Sketchbook spread: abstract geometric comoposition in collage, pencil, ink, gouache

Enjoy these pages from one of my current sketchbooks. It’s all sort of exploratory and experimental, and I’ve no idea where it’s taking meº, but I did manage a handful of hours painting in it on Friday night.

I think I’ll go back to my reading.

x Liz

*The book in question is The Full English, by Stuart Maconie; it’s delightful so far. And for the record, A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, by George Saunders, had a similar effect on me, resulting in an entire day reading in lieu of painting a few weeks ago.

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ºWhere is it all taking me? It feels like it’s taking me on a thousand digressions, rather than getting me any closer to my particular visual vocabulary— sometimes art takes us in circles. So far it’s all intuition and not enough editing. Ruthless editing is what’s missing. All the creative ‘play’ in the world won’t lead anywhere without rigorous editing to arrive precisely at What I Like aka my voice (per the Saunders book noted above).